


a thousand silent ways

by alexanderlightweight



Series: Words of October 2019 [28]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic, Love Confessions, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Smitten, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 15:08:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21101489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexanderlightweight/pseuds/alexanderlightweight
Summary: there are hundreds of ways to say I love you and Magnus has heard them all.this is the first time it's been said in a language he's had to learn, a translation for only his own heart to know.





	a thousand silent ways

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arilee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arilee/gifts).

> fulfills fluff bingo square: cuddling
> 
> thank you Arilee for the ideas and support and everything always!!! Couldn't write any of this fluff and romance without you 😍!!!! Especially for this specific idea that made this possible!

It wasn’t the first night or even the third night Alec had spent beside Magnus but it was enough. He knew now that he slept better by him, felt safer and rested deeper with his boyfriend and that when he did rise in the middle of the night, he was quicker to settle knowing that Magnus was near. 

He couldn’t explain at first what he was feeling, it was so very different from what he’d once thought romantic affections were that it confused him, somehow what he felt for Magnus was both less tangible and more real. 

He didn’t have emotions persistently warring inside his chest at the thought of Magnus, instead there was a constant flutter of joy at being near him and the tranquil yearning of missing him whenever they were parted. Everything felt softer and yet more intense and as much as he wanted to kiss Magnus thoroughly, he also wanted to just lie next to him and drift. 

Lately, after sleeping and showering at Magnus’ _ -when the scent of sandalwood lingered on him _\- he found himself inhaling deeply and smiling to himself, mind whisked away by memories of Magnus and his touch and the bleary gaze of his eyes in the cool dawn when they awoke. It was the delight of pressing against Magnus for a quick nap, when they were both stressed and busy and too tired to do anything but hug and murmur incoherently until they fell asleep. It was how Magnus made him feel stronger than he’d ever felt but also how he knew he could let himself be more vulnerable around Magnus than he’d ever dared to be with anyone else. Magnus felt like trust and soft dreams you didn’t want to wake from and hiding from the cold surf of the beach by digging your toes into hot sand.

Magnus felt like every good thing Alec has ever experienced and every future memory he’s ever wanted to build.

-

Magnus’ mind wouldn’t settle the first time he felt it. Work and the world were weighing heavily on him and though Alexander was a warm presence next to him, his thoughts refused to settle. There was a soft grumble and he winced, Alec already had such little free time with the shit-show of their life and now, on one of the few nights where he dragged himself over to Magnus’, he was keeping him awake.

There were no words, just the blink of sclera that he could barely see in the dark and then a hand reaching out to tenderly brush through his hair, trail down his neck and then rub soothingly at his back. Alec gave a sleepy grumble, the kind that Magnus’ had quickly learned he thought were actual coherent words but never were. It made his heart stutter, to see and know that Alec was so comfortable with him that he would bare himself so open. It was a difficult thing to ask from anyone but especially for a warrior.

It took a few minutes and he thought Alec had fallen back asleep, left Magnus to his overactive imagination and centuries of entrenched anxieties and then he felt it.

Little patterns, circles and loops and figure eights were being traced onto his back. They spiraled down the curve of his spine, hard enough that they didn’t tickle but soft enough that if he’d been asleep it wouldn’t have woken him.

He fixated on it, unable to help himself from wondering what it meant.

Alec’s fingers wandered softly back up to his shoulders, more circles traced onto the muscles there and then back again down his spine before up again and pausing in smaller, tighter circles at his nape. Magnus had his eyes closed now, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he relaxed into his pillow and felt the tension drain from his body.

They weren’t letters and they weren’t words and while Magnus wanted to know what it meant, he had time for that later. Right now, he was being lulled to sleep and his mind eased, curious but not frantic as he finally fell asleep.

_ That was only the beginning. _

Alec started to sleep over more often than he didn’t, somehow finding the energy and the time to slip away from the Institute, even after long nights spent hunting or directing the Institute.

He wanted to be with Magnus and he made that clear. Magnus had never had a lover so willing to always press against his side or curl up behind him or to tuck against his chest. Alec was always tactile, rubbing his fingers together or kneading his own thighs and it translated over to their relationship with a smooth transition. 

Every night without fail, Alec’s fingers found his back or his arm or his hand and traced circles. A never-ending loop that seemingly had no beginning and no end and it took a few weeks for Magnus to figure it out. 

It was a longer day, dinner had been terse not with impatience but with exhaustion. It had taken more energy to talk than it had to eat and both had been weary from it. Magnus had almost thought Alec would leave, go back to the Institute to sleep there but instead he had stumbled into the shower, then come to bed with wet hair and rolled onto his side, back to Magnus and pulling the covers up tight over his shoulders until he was tucked to the tip of his nose.

Magnus had hesitated, but reached out and threaded his fingers gently through Alec’s hair and dried it with a simple, effortless spell. When he’d gone to take his hand back it had been kidnapped by Alec’s own, fingers threading through his as Alec tugged Magnus’ arm over his shoulder and held it tightly under the covers against his chest.

Magnus had blinked, perplexed by the mystifying but insistent pull and allowed himself to wrap himself against Alec’s back. He pressed close, inhaling the scent of his own shampoo and appreciating how Alec smelt like _ his _, like home. His hand remained a willing captive and he’d tucked close to his boyfriend, closing his eyes and some of his worries dissolved when the tracing began. 

One of Alec’s hands was still tangled with Magnus’, but the other was now tapping against his knuckles as it started making patterns. Familiar little circles moving in and out and as Magnus began to fall asleep, eyes falling and staying shut, he heard his own heart echo the pattern; translating the touch into a small thunder until each caress resounded with his heart’s confession of _ I love you. I love you. I love you. _

The knowledge was a sweet but gossamer burden to bear. He began to watch Alec more closely, trying to see the signs but nothing obvious had changed. Alec lit up each morning for cuddles the same way he always did, pressed the same sweet delighted kisses to his jaw when they had time and sloppier, open mouthed kisses against his neck when they had sex but never did he say the words. 

When they settled though, whether for rest or sleep, movies, reading books side by side or even a glass of wine and lazy make-out on the balcony, Alec’s fingers spoke a different truth. 

_ I love you. _

They said as Alec traced circles on his shoulders, lathering up soap in the shower and drowsily petting Magnus’ skin.

_ I love you. _

When the air cooled and night fell and New York continued to move about them, sitting next to each other with Alec’s hand whispering secrets on his thigh.

_ I love you. _

In the morning when words were used to learn more of each other but hearts were kept safe and Alec unknowingly poured his own out as he announced it with a calloused touch to Magnus’ chest. Head propped up by his arm as he smiled in the golden light of a new day.

_ I love you. _

A simple dinner where Alec insisted on doing dishes the mundane way, worried that Magnus would be tired from a day of clients and using his magic. The way he would put his hand over Magnus’ across the counter and rub over his thumb in little, adoring circles.

_ I love you. _

Then, he said it aloud. In person and desperate with his fingers digging deep into Magnus’ shoulders, clenching on the fabric of his jacket and after they kissed, when the confessions were made and Magnus bared his own heart. When they held each other tight and Alec traced firm, deep admissions of_ I love you, I love you, I can’t live without you _ in circles on Magnus’ back and Magnus just thought to himself, _ I know. _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr as [alexanderlightweight](https://alexanderlightweight.tumblr.com)


End file.
